At the end of the day, when I am lying in bed and I know the chances of any of our theology being exactly right are a million to one, I need to know that God has things figured out, that if my math is wrong we are still going to be okay. And wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to follow. I don’t think there is any better worship than wonder.
(Source: hislivingpoetry)
A Letter To God
I used to believe that I know You so damn well. From movies I’ve watched, to stories I heard (willingly and unwillingly) down to lectures from people who are complete experts about You. But the older I get, the more I find out how absurd that was. For You are so infinite, so vast, so much more than what people try to make You to be.
Sometimes when I look at You I think how familiar You are to me and yet, somehow, You feel like a total stranger and I cannot comprehend how those two can be so true at the same time.
People say that You are kind, gentle, all powerful and just and yet when I look around I see people dying on the street corners — dying of hunger and cold. I see people resorting to drugs and pills and eventually killing themselves because depression is something too unbearable to deal with. I see a poor child roaming dangerous streets to ask for alms, desperately clinging to what little hope and life he has left. I see good people slowly being tortured and dying of cancer, people who doesn’t even deserve what they’re getting. I see a girl sittting by the window, quietly hoping for her father’s return, unscathe and well from war. I see government officials living in luxury and stealing the money commoners like me worked so hard for. So how come people say You are all poweful and just? Sometimes I find it hard to believe.
But then, in moments of complete emptiness, when I finally surrender searching for You like a soldier surrendering his sword and admitting defeat in battle, I find the courage to go on. Then I realize that You’ve been there all along, silently walking with me, even carrying me when You know I’ve lost all will to move forward.
And when I looked out the window, I know that I need not look for You anymore. You’re everywhere. I see You in the stars and in the sky, I see You in birds and in the trees, I see You in my mother and her overflowing love for me, I see You in my friends who come to my aid in troubled times, I see You in people helping each other during calamities, I see You in hereos and their courage, I see You in marriage and absolute love of a man and woman for each other, I see You in the hope quietly lurking around the corner of my heart, I see You in my courage to try and keep trying no matter how dire the situation is.
The world is full of lies, deceit, greed, lust and treachery but it is also filled of hope, kindness, bravery, chasteness, humility and ultimately, love. Because You can make the world beautiful because You are kind and all powerful and just.
“And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if ever they were sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just round some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all was well.”
-The Magician’s Nephew, C.S. Lewis
We get caught up in the folly of self-effort. We think our provision is up to us, so we struggle. We think our righteousness is up to us, so we strain. We think our spirituality is a work of human willpower, so we press on even harder. All the while, Jesus says to us: “Come to ME.” He will give us rest. Faith and complete dependence on Jesus are to PRECEDE obedience. When we strive for obedience first, we are overwhelmed with our inabilities. That’s why He only told us to come to Him with everything, and He would fill us with Himself. WHAT HE DEMANDED OF US, HE HIMSELF WILL FULFILL.
God’s will for our lives is to see us transformed into the likeness of Jesus—to become people who walk more and love more like Jesus Himself. Elsewhere, Paul says God predestined us to be adopted as sons through Christ and chose us to be holy and blameless (Ephesians 1). God’s will for us is transformation.
Maybe God cares about who we are becoming more than what we are specifically doing.
The transformation that Jesus brings about makes us more fully alive. It makes us more human. When we are more fully alive, becoming all that God envisions we can be, suddenly we start walking through life lock-step with God and His will. It is precisely when we focus on God’s desire to transform us that He teaches us how to walk through the uncertainty of where we are going. The result is the temporary uncertainty of this life becomes far less important in light of the eternal trajectory we are now focused on. We walk toward Christ through doubt, through struggles, through confusion, through unanswered prayers and through our relentless desire to simply know where every moment of our lives will end up. We don’t know everything—we don’t know the specific job, home, spouse, school, friends, challenges or callings our lives may entail—but we know the one thing necessary.
“God doesn’t give us clarity, son.”
God certainly gives us glimmers of clarity and an assurance that we are where He wants us to be—but that doesn’t mean we suddenly become omniscient. Our knowing always remains in part, leaving us weak and dependent. In other words, embracing our finitude and limited understanding is exactly where God wants us to be so that our strength is in Him and not ourselves.
But this wanting to know how things will play out lingers in the recesses of my mind. Perhaps it’s because I am easily fixated on what I’m doing rather than on who I’m becoming. Without a doubt, when someone asks what God’s will is for their lives, they really mean, “What does God want me to do with my life?” They assume there is some direct Batline to the Holy Spirit to answer that question or that there’s a trick to knowing God’s will.
Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.
What If Things Don’t Seem To Be Working?
GALATIANS 6:9 ESV
9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
What should you do when it seems like God has forgotten you and you are about to perish?
Act on God’s Word! Speak to the mountain! Rejoice in the Lord! Stand in faith! Continue to thank God! Expect God’s help! Don’t ever give in or give up!
Realize God is not the problem. God is perfect. He never fails and never makes a mistake. God is helping you as much as you are allowing Him.
You probably do need to change some things. After all, none of us are perfectly mature yet. We are all learning and growing.
But don’t make the mistake of putting yourself down and accepting the devil’s idea that you are so hopeless that nothing can work out for you.
God will gently guide you in making whatever changes you need to make. God is there to help you, not to condemn you.
If it does not seem like things are working out, then your faith is being tested. But God is not testing your faith, it is the devil. The purpose of this testing is to get you to turn loose of your faith — to change what you believe.
So just keep on doing what you know is right. Don’t change your beliefs about God. He is still good. Keep trusting Him. Keep believing that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him — that it pays to walk with God (Hebrews 11:6).
We should not be surprised at a fiery trial of faith. The Bible warned us these things would come.
1 PETER 4:12 ESV
12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.
Jesus said there would be tribulation. He told us we would be persecuted.
We are also warned that we must “hold fast” to our confession. We must continue to stand in faith, regardless of what hits us.
HEBREWS 4:14 ESV
14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.
HEBREWS 10:23 ESV
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
If we always perfectly understood everything that was happening, there would be no temptation to doubt.
We are still growing and learning so we don’t yet understand everything. But just because we don’t understand what is happening is no reason to doubt God, His Word, and His goodness.
SAY THIS: Even in the dark, I will still trust God, for He is good and never fails.
Really needed this today!
You see, there are two different types of hope in the world. One is hoping for something, and the other is hoping in someone.
One day, everything we hope for will eventually disappoint us. Every circumstance, every situation, every relationship, we put our hope in is going to wear out, give out, fall apart, melt down, and go away.
That’s the problem with hoping in something. That’s why the only dependable hope is hope in someone. Or rather, Someone. The entirety of Scripture points to one cross, one man, one God—not because He gives us everything we’re hoping for but because He is the One in whom we put our hope.
